the troubles that he would start. The reason always given was that I was the oldest and there- fore should have known better. I had become the black sheep of the family and consequently had turned into an introvert, with a mortal fear of my father. My older sister and I had a lot in common for she was resented which became by my mother obvious when my younger sister was born and all of my mother's attention went to the newborne child.

During the critical early years when boys learn about girls, I was a thin, awkward child, who was afraid to even to talk to girls. Since I was not in the mainstream of the usual activities of other teenagers, I was rejected by my peers. I felt like an outcast from the in- crowd. Thus, I spent all of my spare time, when not in school, working in my father's auto- motive shop, learning all that I could about everything mechani- cal and electrical. At the same time, I made good marks in school. I had set my mind into entering some recluse field of en- deavor, such as physics or re- search since I did not feel com- fortable with others. My father wanted me to follow in his foot- steps and insisted that college was a waste of money. At the age of seventeen I joined the army reserves which made my father very happy. He was a veteran of World War I - and very proud of it. This did not take any time away from my high school work and when I grad- uated from high school I found that there really was nothing for me to do but to go to work as a mechanic. I ended up tak- ing a job at a local marine, running the repair department and selling boating equipment. This was a good experience for me because I learned how to in- teract with other people and found acceptance due to my mechanical skills.

After going to work my paremts demanded that I either

move into my own apartment or pay room and board in order to stay at home. Well, I wasn't making enough money to afford an apartment so I started making weekly payments at home. There were constant frictions at home and comments were made to the effect that I really should be dat- ing girls so that I could marry and set up my own home. My little grandmother heard about the problems and one day sat me down for a long talk. With tears rolling down her cheeks she explained that as I was growing up, she was always there to come to my defense whenever my parents talked against me. She had recognized that I was being treated so poorly and said that I had been an unwanted child. Now I understood all that before was only a mystery.

With this information I set out to prove to myself, as well as my parents, that I would be the best in all things. I started dating girls and later met a girl who would become my wife. She was 16 and I was 21. The very first time that I took my beautiful new girl friend home to meet my parents, my dad's comment to her was, "Apparently you haven't met Larry, his younger brother." Both of us could have died from embarrassment.

We married in 1960 and later were blessed with several children. However, it wasn't too long before my family started a rumor that my wife and her employer were having an affair. That did it! I could not stand things any longer. I volunteered to go on active duty as an officer during the middle of the Vietnam conflict to just get away from family, home- town and bad memories. How- ever, my wife and I managed to stick together through all of this.

I spent two years in Vietnam, returned home to attend some special training and then went back to the war flying combat and reconnaissance missions.

But flying under extreme stress, including flying every day,

wore

me down and then one day I received a letter from my wife that she had fallen in love with another pilot and wanted a divorce to marry him. I almost went out of my mind. I could not eat, sleep or even think straight. I felt lost.

Well, all of you crossdres- sers should start paying strict attention to what follows for here is where the plot thickens and an ugly worm learns how to turn into a lovely butterfly.

—

It so happened that I was stationed at an airfield in Viet- nam that was co-located with a general hospital - with plenty of understanding nurses. Two of the girls, who were room- mates, sensed my state of shock and took me under their wings for protection. I spent many hours with them, talking through my problems and emotional turmoil. I became very close to them and the amusing thing was that everyone around the place assumed I was some sort of a supper stud, taking care of two women. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Each month our aviation unit had a hail-and-farewell party in conjunction with the hospital in order to recognize old friends returning to the states as well as to welcome the new arrivals.

I was asked to play a part in a stage skit in which I played the part of a playboy who was known for his "ways" with wo- men. In the skit I was pushed out on stage in a grocery cart, in which I was slightly inebriated

playing my guitar and singing. My hair was cluttered with leaves and flowers as if I had just made love to one of the nurses in the commander's flower bed. Hang- ing from my flight suit pockets were a beautiful matching bra and panty set, trimmed in lace. They had been donated by one of the nurses as props for the skit. After the show, that night. I went to bed and began to think about the girls, their softness,